innu kure karanju.. vere sambhavangal okke orth.avalundayirunnu supportayi. avale kodnavuna reetiyil.paavam nannayi kashtapedunnund. aval swayam thanne idakkide break aakunnata, njanarunnu support. innu njan oombithalli, kashtam, paavam ende nannu..avale innum kure vishamippichu.stiram kaaryangal. sarathumayi aval samparkkam pularthunne entho enikkishtapedunnilla... asooya thanne aakanm, entennal kettidatholam avanippo adhikam prashnangal undakkarilla. ennalum aval aavashyamillathe avande koode chutti nadakkunnu ennariyumbo oru vallayma, ottakku basementilo, evidelumo, allel h blkilo, allel fonil kure samsarichennu kettalo okke.che, enta najningane? uttaram simpleaa. avalendeya ennulla thonnal. athu thettano? alla, aval thanne paranjatalle? athondu thanne njan avanil ninnu vyatyastanalle? myru, enikk aa paavathine ini vishamipikanda, ende nannu paavam.avale njan thanne mure kashtapeduthi. avalkk avane ishtama... enikkathu manasilakkan pattille? avalenneyalle eppozhum vilikkunne? ennodalle konjunne? of course, avan collegil poyirunnel valare nallatarunnu, but pokatha sthithikk avanivide thanne kaanum. avalkkanel avane kalayanum vayya. otta vazhiye njan kaanunnullu. ende nannu thanna. athorthu samdhanikkuka.enthu kandalum kandilla ennu nadikuka, nadikkan pattunnatanel.so what, avalalpa neram avdne kude karangi.. so what, aval njanillatappo avand ekoode kazhikkan poyi.. friendalle? classmatalle? normal. vittukala. i shud be concetrating instead on how to woo her. kure paisa undakkanam.. ennitantassayi avale vilichirakkanam.. avade backgroundokke chilappo veettil prashnamayekkam, but nalla standardil thanne aanenkil prateeksha undu.
eda kalla, ipo thanne, aval naale varunnaoru cheriya plan udnarunnu.. abadhathilenganum avan drop cheyyam ennu vallom paranju aval vannalo ennu pedichu varanda ennu paranju.. kallapanni... sorry.da, atrakkonnum ippo vayya kaanan.:P sorry machu.

ayyyooooo vattakunnee...... enikkenta kaaryngal let go cheyyan pattathe/ nanunu njan jeevana.. pinnenta prashnam?? entho. enikkeppozhum samsarikkanam, samsarichu prashnangal solve cheyyanam.. but avalkk samsrikkanda.. chilappo exma ullondarikkum, allel chilappo uncomfortable aarikkum.. entanelum avaleppozhum ozhinju maaruva.. ithu avalodu paranja avakku vishamamakum.. vere aarodum enikku parayanda, athava paranjalum avakku vishamamkum.. enna pinne, patti, ninakku thanne manassilakki ennodu nannyonnu samsarichu koode// nee samsarikkate ozhinju maarumbo koodutal vishamom ediyuma ninakkende koodulla comfortabe level kruayuvano ennu... alla, kurayuval ennurappa.. njanenta ingane ennum. endmamo, enganokke ninne santoshippichirunnavan... ippo kando.. athinu kaaranm neeyano/ alla... all, ichiri.. alla.. neeyalledi... ellam situationala.. myru... ayyyyyyyyooooooooooooo

thettano thettano? njaningane okke aalochikkunnathu thettano/?? ee relationil enikkano upperhand/ ? atenthu knda/? avalkkum ayikoode?
enthokkeyo.... ithu valom avalodu parayn pattumo? 1] avalkku vishamamkum.2] ennilulla viswasam nashtapedum.ende nannu njanake vattayio irikkuvadi. njan sarathinnu differenta.. avan nidnaduthu deshaym kaanikkum.. njan kaanikkillalllo.. alle? entho ee chodyam njan ennodu chodikkunan pole.. athe. njan sarathalla. alla alla alla. im much better than him. alle?  ennelum nee ithu vaayikuvanel vishamam thonanruthu.. ouru gunomillathonda ninnodu parayanje.. naaniyodum parayilla.. ninakku vishamam tararuthenne ullu. okkuvanel santoshom..da enikakriyilla,... nee aarodum , nd i mean amith nd sarath, nammude kaaryam parayathe pedi kondano? onnu ninde peru cheetha aakumennum. pinne ini ellam kottighoshichu kazhinjittu nadannillello ennum? aaakane ennanende prarthana.. allathe, enthu kondo ninakkenne kaal sarathu important aanennum atennodu parayanulla vishamam kondu vallomanenkil ayyoooooo.... aalochikkan koodi vayya. amithinde karyathil exception aakam.. aa casil confused aakam. amith aano njanano enn.. but da, sarathine kaaryathil nee enne pinthallalle.....
che itvalodu paranjal aval vicharikkum "daivame, avasanathe tvaikolayirunna aadiyum ingananllo... ellam manassilakkunn aarum ee lokathille ennu" da njan ninde snehathine question cheyyuvalla... oru pedi.. atreyullu.ata njan idakkide parayunne koodutal expres cheyy expres cheyy ennu... id prefer nee njan parayathe thanne cheythirunnekile ennu... make me feel safer.. but entho nee kaanikkunnilla... sorry da muthe.. i know maybe njna chumma kaadu keruva.. nee tirichu chodikkumarikkum nee ini enta cheyyande ennu... enikkuttramailla... enikakriyathumilla enta enikkinganokke thonnuunne ennu... chilappo njan paranjille, onum ofifcial aakathodnarikkum.aa woru word kittathodnarikkum... enthumakamennu stithi aayondarikkum. ende nanu ithinonnum enne verukkalle.... ithu vallom nee arinjal enikku vayya, ende ella imagum pokum.

i think im gettin to the root cause of our troubles. enikku aa pedi undu.. atavalkku manasilakunnumilla..undenkil thanne enthu cheyyanamennariyilla. enikku pedia entinennu chodichal official aayittu njanavalde aarumalla.. sarathin aayirunna polo, amith aayirikkunna polo... njangade idiayil njan valiya sambhavamarikkum, but veliyil aarumalla... athu veliyil arinjal aarum manasilakkanamennumilla.. satyama.
i'll elaborate.
enthu kondo eppozhum enikku sarath ennal oru matiri competition aanu. competition alla, threat aanu. aval pinnem pinnem parayunnu alla ennu.. idakkokke njanum viswasikkum, but aval nadannathonnum nadannittilla enna mattil pinnem avanodoppam nilkkumbo entho oru bhayam ullil. avanullappo enikkavale nokkan pattilla.. athu nerathe paranjittullata.. aval avan care cheyyan varumbo nikkukem cheyyum.. ende manassilellam appo she nanu ingottu vaa enna.. but aval [atariyate, avalde vicharam ithonnum kaaryamallenna] varatirikkumbo manassu pidayum.. basically, yes enikku aval eppozhum entinum varunn aalaakanam ennundu... avalenikkum.  njan sarathil ninnum vyatyastanannu... avan aggresiive aayituu avale possess cheyyumarunnu... njan passive aayittagrahickum. njan passive aanu. athe ullu njangal thammil vyatyasam... god, orikkalum njanavane polakaruthe.
ah, entho, ullil oru feeling aval onnum vendatra kaaryamakkrille ennu. appo thanne maru chodyam... ellamangane kaaryamkkiyal enthuva rasam/?serious aayi serious aayi.... jeevitam adichu polikkanullatalle? enikkathu pattanamenkil officially enikkurappakanam avalde manassil ente stanam entanennu... pinne sarathinum.. at least, kurach. entho avanariyunnu ennu aalochickkumbo enikku aa oru authority varunnu.. atavalkku manasilakunno entho..
ella casilum njananu insider.. ellamariyunna, rahasyangal purathu parayan pattatha aal. appo worst casil enikku maatrame ariyoo entokke parallel universe nadakkarunnennu... ippo aval amithine kettiyal njanum avalume ariyoo njangalkku ingane oru future undakarunnennu... amith ariyilla, ayalkku vishamavumakilla.. athinartham ayal vishamikkanamennalla... ippo entho enikku oru major disadvantage ulla pole.. appo choydam, njan avalde best friendalle/ itrem supportivum understandingum aayondalle njangal aduthathu thanne? njan arinju nikkande? maruchodyam... atra intimate aakanamenkila thilentho ille/? enikkathinulla rhata ille? uttaramillatha kure chodyangal... avald ekoottu uttaram parayathe ozhinju maaran pattiyirunnenkil ennagrahickkunna etrayo naalukal.. pakshe pattilla, enikkuttarangal kittiye pattu, knappu. uttaram tarandatavalum.
oru kaaryam maatram clear. avale nashtapedaruthu. enthu kondo, enganeyo mansssil keri koodi poyi. ende nannu.

kure naalayi post cheythittu... kure sambhavangal nadannu.. kure jeevitangal maari. itra cheriya kaalayalavil itrem nadakkamennu ottum prateekshichilla. pakshe prateekshikkatathu nadannalalle jeevithathinoru rasamullu? nadakkan pokunnataraiyamenkil jeevikkunnethil enthu rasam/
ah athu potte, innu tudangiyathu nalla divasamayittarunnu. nannuvumayi ange attathe sneham.avasanam pakshe kondu kalamudachu. avalkkippozhum sarathine marakkano distancil nirthano vayya... ippozhum aniyane pole kood kondu nadakkuva.. avan branth abhinayichatanu... avalippozhum avane protect cheyyunnu. atarunnu innathe tarkkavishayam. tarkkamalla, oru sambhaashanam. oru reetiyil nokkiyal aval cheyyunnathil thettilla.. avanalpam support venam.. atavalde kaiyyinu kittiyale avanu samadhanamaku. pakshe koodutalum bhaagathu ninnu nokkumbol thetu thanneyanu.alla, thettall,,, pakseh sheriyalla. cheytal prashnangal undakam, pakshe entina cheyyan pone ennoru avastha. avasaanam adiyitta ponnathu.. nalla vishamamayi. avalkku kaaryama paranju kodukkunne, oru paridhi vare enkilum.pakshe ennal polum avale vishamippikkunnallo ennoru vishamam. ende nanune enikku vishamippikkanda... ende daivame, athu nadakkunnillallo. innum pattiniya. mindenda. nanayi vishakkunnundu. pakshe kaaryam paryananel polum njan ende nannune vishamippichu. athinu njan kurachenkilum anubhavikkanam. athoru universal lawya... thettu cheytal athinu anubhavikkum... anubhavikkanam.. aval ippozhum avane protect cheyyunnundu... enno avale snehichirunna peril.. atavalde nalla manassnao kaanikkunne/ atho mandataramo/ atho randumo? daivame, onnu sahayikk.